Empty Eyes
by WaruiOkami
Summary: After fixing his defective pak Zim realises his life is a disgrace, but Dib saves him from self-destruction. Mediocre as a life on Earth may be for an irken, the boy has crept into his life and become a luxury he wouldn't be without. But would he trade it all in to be an invader again if he got the chance? - ZADR from the start, trying not to give anything away in the summary!
1. Chapter 1

_AN: I'm finally back for another story! I've had this story rattling around my brain for yonks now and I've been starting to get it down, and with the new film being announced [SO MUCH EXCITEMENT] it seemed like a good time to start publishing. I wanted to try a darker story where Zim is bit truer to his irken side, I do like to keep ZADR as in character as possible (*cough*) though I'm not sure how well I'll succeed. He always just seems to end up being adorable. I have a few head canons such as the start which may be familiar from my previous story (sorry for any repetition) it's just the only way my head can connect the tv to potential ZADR. Anyway this story doesn't focus so much on the start but leaps right in._

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 **Empty Eyes**

 **Chapter 1**

A warmth shifted closer against his side, pressure squeezing his arm uncomfortably. A warm breeze fluttered his antennae. Too warm, too heavy.

Zim slowly cracked his eyelids open, moonlight flooding his sensitive vision as he tugged his arm out from underneath the sleeping body next to him. He shielded his eyes whilst they adjusted, coherent thoughts slowly forming. He had no idea what time it was, but he almost certainly hadn't been asleep for long. It didn't take much to wake him, and once he was he knew he would be wide awake. irkens didn't really need to go to bed every night like humans did. Their bodies were far superior in that respect and the general biological upkeep by their PAKs meant that rest was not required as much. Time was far too precious to spend it sleeping.

It wasn't that he didn't enjoy the sensation, in fact it was surprisingly pleasing. It was not something he'd ever considered pleasurable before spending so much time with the Dib. But the human boy seemed to spend an insatiable amount of his time unconscious, so he often found himself indulging just for the sake of it. He glanced over at the shadowy mound next to him. The boy was breathing softly, his face partially buried in the pillow and his thick black hair sticking up at mad angles. Zim couldn't help a small smile tugging at his lips. The Dib really had matured into a fine looking beast, as humans go.

It was a bizarre circumstance he now found himself in. His relationship with his former nemesis was now quite the opposite. At times it still freaked him out, and Irk only knows how many laws he was breaking. But for the first time in his life he had had a taste of happiness. He wasn't sure he would say that he was actively _happy_ , but given what he was and everything that had happened to him he was learning to embrace a new outlook on life. There were still times when he found it impossibly hard, and life seemed too bleak and confusing, times when he wondered if he wouldn't have been better off if Dib had never found him that night.

It was several months ago now since that grievous night. The night that he'd found so many doors slammed shut in his face, only to find new ones he'd never expected hanging ajar. Zim had been trying for years to fix the faults in his pak. Deep down he must have always known that something wasn't quite right, because he had never been able to stop tinkering with it. Quite a risky hobby given that it was essentially his life support. But he had never been able to stop that niggling feeling that something wasn't functioning.

He had got lucky correcting a couple of faults. A year or two back he had fixed whatever had been impeding his growth, and found that he suddenly grew a couple of feet much to his delight. It had been good timing as he had started high school and people were starting to notice how tiny he really was, as all the other teens began to shoot up around him. He was still small for a human adolescent and much to his chagrin still stood a good foot or so shorter than the Dib, but it was certainly an improvement and as irkens go he was now at a pretty respectable height.

The more success he had had with his pak the more obsessed he had become. Things began to make more sense and he became noticeably less manic. The tension between the Dib and himself had become less intense as they both became absorbed in their own problems. Zim figured as he couldn't conquer Earth until he was functional then it was only logical that his first plan for global domination was fixing his pak, and simultaneously Dib had discovered all the horrors of puberty. His progress became exponential – the more he fixed the more made sense, and the easier he found it to fix, until one day… _everything_ made sense. Too much.

He thought he'd be happy when he fixed his pak. To not be a defective any more was all he'd ever wanted. It was meant to fix everything. Instead the truth came crashing down around him. The realisation of everything he'd ever done, the shame and humiliation… for the first time he saw his life with an unclouded mind, for what it really was. The failure that he had been, the utter disgrace and embarrassment to his people.

It was too much to bear. He couldn't go back to Irk, couldn't even face calling the Tallests. But what was the point of going back to the school? His feud with the Dib child was pointless. He didn't belong anywhere.

Dib had never really understood why Zim had kept attending school. For him their war had been a childhood fantasy, no matter how real the stakes, but as he grew older he realised this wasn't the case for Zim. Zim wasn't a child, he was a lethal creature hell-bent on taking over his planet. The older Dib got the more strange he realised it was that Zim spent all of his time battling a local child, when in reality he had the technology to blow up this rock at the push of button. He had often called Zim crazy but as he aged Dib began to see Zim in a different light, pitying him almost for his evident mental illness. Or perhaps irkens were just incredibly stupid creatures. Either way, eventually he realised that Zim was no real threat to the Earth.

Regardless of everything Zim had always attended school, so when a week passed and the little lizard was still absent Dib had decided it was time to investigate. He knew Zim still had god knows what weaponry at his disposal, so it was only sensible to stay wary of the alien. When he got to Zim's base he found the defences down, and boldly ventured down into the main lab. But nothing could have prepared him for what he walked into.

The base was in ruins. Screens were smashed, machinery had been ripped from the walls and broken wires hung everywhere, dangerously shooting sparks of energy that he had to dodge. Had someone attacked Zim's base? Dib's heart began to pound as he considered what he might find. Dib stepped cautiously through the narrow passageways, glass and rubble crunching underfoot. It was so dark, Zim could be anywhere. Should he call out? He didn't have time to construct a plan before a sinister, snarling voice reached his ears.

"What on _Irk_ are you doing in here?"

Dib felt a chill run down his spine, slowly turning around to find the source of the voice. The sparking light caught on two fierce, crimson eyes, narrowed to slits not far from where he stood. They sparked with fury, and Dib instantly regretted his decision to come down here.

"What makes you think you can just walk into an irkenbase _human_?" Dib began to back away as Zim advanced towards him. Dib had always known that Zim was a lethal creature, but he had never felt truly afraid of him until this moment. His voice was different somehow, dripping with venom, and his eyes burned with an intensity that pierced Dib's soul.

"I… I didn't…" Dib stuttered, fear choking his voice as his back hit a wall. In a flash Zim's claws lashed out towards him and fastened in an iron grip around his throat. Dib's fingers scrabbled desperately at the irken's gloves but to no avail - Zim was just too much stronger than him.

"I should have killed you years ago." Zim whispered, his face threateningly close now and Dib's blood ran cold. This was not the Zim that he knew, and this one really was going to kill him.

Zim released his neck and backhanded him hard across the face, throwing Dib hard against the ground. Dib's head spun, sparks of light dancing across his vision. He reached desperately for the glasses that had been thrown from his face but couldn't reach them before Zim had picked him back up and laid into him once again.

"Zim… oof, please!" Dib begged where he could spare the breath between Zim's punches. "Stop!" He fell to the floor once more, coughing blood onto the metal. He squinted up at Zim's blurry form, his stomach roiling with pain and fear. His arms shook as he struggled to hold himself up, and he knew he could not take much more. Now that he focused he could make out the razor sharp point of one of Zim's metal spider legs hovering close, ready to dispatch him.

So this was really it. At least it was a reasonable death, killed by an alien. Not that he supposed any one would ever know. They'd probably find some other stupid excuse that would make his death seem just as insane as the world had seen him his whole life. He tried to make out the expression on Zim's face, but his eyesight was just too poor.

"Please," he sighed in defeat, dropping his gaze to the floor.

Zim stared down at the quaking mess of a human before him. Of all the times they had fought - so so many times - he had never seen Dib like this. He didn't know why it suddenly shook him but it did. He'd been so enraged when the Dib had wandered so unafraid into his base. The human _should_ be afraid of him, he could kill him so easily and all humans should know it. He'd also felt humiliated, the evidence of his anguish all around them. The boy whimpered, vivid red blood dribbling from his mouth and on to the ground.

He could kill him. Right now, finish the job. Years of warring with this creature ended in a heartbeat.

But what was the point now? This was no victory. He felt the rage and all motivation drain from him in that instant, leaving him hollow. He staggered back a few steps before falling to the floor, metal legs retracting into his pak. He glared at the ground, wishing it would open up and swallow him whole. Everything that had ever mattered to him was gone, he didn't even have the will to end his nemesis any more. He truly was worthless.

It was then that he felt a tentative pressure on his shoulder. His head snapped up and the Dib flinched his hand away.

"Do you _want_ to die?" Zim hissed at him weakly, unable to fathom why the Dib had crawled over to him in his sorry state. His face was purpling and smeared with blood, his eyes shaking with fear.

"Zim, what happened to you?" Zim bristled at his question, antennae standing on end, but remained silent. Once more the Dib shuffled closer, and boldly replaced his hand on the irken's shoulder. Zim could not believe the audacity of this creature, surely he had a death wish.

But at the same time he simply could not muster the rage he had felt only moments ago, and he was surprised to feel the warmth that emanated from the Dib's palm. In all these years they had never touched – at least not in a way that hadn't intended to inflict pain. It was a pleasant feeling that radiated into his cool body. He had never expected the boy to give off so much heat. His own body was so much cooler that he had never considered that humans might be warm-blooded.

"Tell me what's wrong." Dib said firmly, but not unkindly. Zim didn't know if it was the warmth of his hand, or if it was because this was the first time any one had ever shown him any kind of kindness or interest in his whole life, but he felt himself begin to crumble. Moisture escaped his eyes and began rolling down his cheeks, and suddenly the Dib's arms were all around him, encasing him in warmth and security.

Zim just couldn't understand why the boy was acting this way. His head was so scrambled, and these were all new emotions to him to start with. He'd just near beaten the boy to death. Why would he show Zim such kindness? No one had ever been kind to him before, and no one had ever embraced him either. He was surprised to discover how good it felt, and from his arch nemesis, a smelly human no less…

Except… Dib wasn't smelly. Or really his arch nemesis at all. He was probably the finest example of a human he'd come across. It was the first time he'd ever thought that, but then this was also the first time he'd ever encountered the boy without a faulty pak. In reality the Dib was the only human he'd ever met with an ounce of intelligence. And he was tall too.

The human had come looking for him and Zim had treated him appallingly, but despite this here Dib was actually comforting him. Zim just couldn't get his head around it. Maybe he'd given the boy too much credit, and he actually was too stupid to realise what he was doing didn't make sense. Surely the Dib creature hated his guts?

Zim suddenly felt terribly self-conscious. What was he doing? He reluctantly pulled away from the warm embrace, feebly shoving the boy off him without managing to muster any genuine anger. The Dib just continued to stare at him, golden eyes boring into his soul.

"Tell me what's going on." Dib repeated firmly. It was a demand not a question, and it should have made Zim angry. But for some reason, as Zim stared at the boy's purpling face, he knew he was going to comply.

It had all been different after that. Zim was sure that if it hadn't been for the Dib he would have self-destructed. For the first time in his life he had someone that actually cared about him. It was still a strange concept, one he didn't fully accept and it sure as hell hadn't been a smooth ride for either of them. Dib himself had never been close to any human before either so their lack of social experience and complex situation proved treacherous. They fought a lot, and at times it wasn't too dissimilar to how they used to be when Dib was a child.

But Dib had also taught Zim the pleasures of having a partner. Pleasures he'd never even known existed. At times he felt like a traitor to his species, but he only had to remind himself of his situation. He was exiled here. No one cared what he did and there was nothing for him to go back for. To help himself wrap his head around it he considered Dib his new Tallest. He had never let on about this of course, but as much as he envied him for it Dib's beautiful height did make him swoon.

Dib let out a little snore that startled Zim out of his reminiscing and back to the present moment. He supposed he didn't have it too bad. He pressed his face against the Dib's warm shoulder for a long moment, taking simple pleasure in the heat transferring into his cool skin. For a brief moment he considered staying and trying to find sleep once more but he didn't like the groggy feeling of being over-rested, so with one last glance at the sleeping boy he sighed, and got out of the bed.

He began to locate his clothes and dressed himself. He still wore his irken uniform a lot of the time, it just felt right even now. Dib couldn't understand it, but he'd been wearing it all his life. He wore human clothes from time to time because the Dib liked it, but the fibres felt scratchy compared to irken fabrics. In a way his uniform kept him sane. He was always going to be an irken no matter how human he acted, and it helped to keep a part of his life irken.

Zim climbed elegantly out of the window and across the rooftops, the pattern of the route home like second nature to him now, perfectly planned to keep him hidden from prying eyes. He moved with cat-like grace through the shadows, invisible to the stray humans who doddered about so clumsily below. Blind fools.

He had had to spend quite some time rebuilding his base after the mess he had made of it, but as he had he had begun to realise his new potential. Since fixing his pak everything felt new to him and he revelled in his newfound abilities. He had always thought he was smart before but now he genuinely was, and he was actually able to create things that functioned without exploding. So for lack of having any real purpose anymore, he busied himself with experiments that tested his capabilities.

Zim slipped down swiftly through the labyrinth of passageways that was his base now, his spider legs navigating the space with ease before plopping him down in his favoured chair. He ran a claw across the control panel, waking up the main computer and turning on the large, dazzling array of screens before him. Zim lazily reached for a nearby can of irken soda, cracking it open with a fizz whilst his eyes perused the information upon the monitors. As per usual, nothing interesting to report. Nothing ever happened on this boring rock.

So it was quite a shock when his computer suddenly buzzed with the alert of an incoming transmission, and Zim spat his drink over the keyboard when he heard who it was from.

" _INCOMING TRANSMISSION FROM THE TALLESTS."_ His computer announced.

Dumbfounded, for a moment Zim simply stared at the screen, frozen with shock. The Tallest hadn't been in touch with him for several Earth years. What could they possibly want from him? He knew now that they had never sent him here as an invader, they had simply wanted to get him as far away from the Irken empire as possible – a fact that still burned and twisted his guts.

" _Are you gonna receive the call or not?"_ The computer prompted him rudely. Zim snapped back to reality and shakily reached a claw out to tap 'accept'. His leaders appeared on the large central screen, looking no different to him than they had years ago.

"My… Tallests?" Zim greeted them uncertainly, his voice coming out smaller than he wanted. It was hard to face them. It was the first time since he had realised the depth of their betrayal to him. His stomach roiled. Did he resent them? He wasn't sure if he was capable of it.

"Hey wow, look at that he's still alive!" Purple exclaimed, turning to Red without acknowledging Zim. "I don't know if I'm disappointed or not." Purple's brow furrowed with confusion whilst Red peered closer with mild interest.

"Zim is that really you?" Red seemed slightly suspicious as he squinted at the screen. Zim suddenly found himself then, standing to attention and regaining his composure before them.

"It is sirs." He raised his chin higher, hoping despite himself that they would recognise his newfound height.

"Zim, did you get… tall?" Purple's voice shook a little, and Zim fought to keep a smirk from his face.

"I did sirs. I managed to correct all of the defects in my pak, and soon found my height recovering to its intended stature. I… apologise for any previous… mishaps." Zim faltered awkwardly. Mishaps didn't really do it justice, but what could he say? There was no apologising for everything he had done.

"Zim? TALL?" Purple flustered, but Red batted him aside.

"You corrected your defective pak… yourself?" Red asked with disbelief. Zim flinched at the word, still finding it a sore point.

"It took some time, but yes. I am fully functional now."

"Wow." Red folded his arms, looking thoughtful. "You know when you stopped calling we just presumed you'd blown up or something." Red stated flippantly. Zim retained his composure, emotions simmering beneath the surface.

"Sirs, if you thought I was dead… why did you call?" Zim asked cautiously.

"Well, as a matter of fact we are about to take the Earth and we were just curious to see if you were still alive or not. I have to say I really didn't expect this."

The room swam for a sickening moment and Zim had to grip the console for support. "You… you're invading Earth?" He choked past his clenching throat.

"It recently became of strategic value. I know you've been out of the loop for some time but we've really expanded our territory since you've been gone…" Red's rambling faded out as Zim took in the news. Was this really happening?

"Sirs…" Zim cut over Red, gaining an irritated look from them both. "No offence intended… but is this some kind of a practical joke? I know now that you sent me here in exile, that you didn't ever really intend to invade the Earth." He couldn't look them in the eye as he said it, couldn't bear the looks their faces would hold when they taunted him and the joke was revealed.

"No Zim, it's not a joke." Red responded curtly, clearly irked. "Look we're almost here, as your scanners should be able to confirm. We didn't really expect you to even respond but seeing as you're here and due to your increase in height I think we could assign you a reasonable position in the invasion."

Zim's mouth opened but he could not find the words to express the white noise in his head. This was too much to take in, too sudden. Red raised a brow at him in mild surprise.

"I thought that would please you but if you'd rather be killed with the humans then it's all the same to us."

"No!" Zim exclaimed suddenly, his irken instinct to survive bringing him to his senses. "No… I am honoured sirs. Th-thank you." He choked out.

"Great. We'll be arriving shortly with the armada." Red said with a smirk before the transmission was abruptly cut.

Zim let out a gasp of air, hyperventilating as he fell more heavily onto the counter. What the hell was he supposed to do now? He'd given up all hope of ever returning to his people, let alone regaining his station as an invader. The Dib… he'd resigned himself to the fact that the human was all he had left. Was he willing to trade him in for his old dream? He felt a moment of anger at himself. Being an invader was all he'd ever dreamt of since he was a tiny smeet, and to be given a second chance like this… how could he be considering giving that up for the sake of one pitiful human? Besides, even if he wanted to he couldn't stand up to the irken armada single handed.

But the Dib… he'd be killed.

He couldn't let that happen. He didn't care about Earth, or any of its miserable inhabitants but he could not let his Dib be destroyed, that was the only thing he was sure of right now. A quick scan of the local space surrounding Earth did indeed confirm that the fleet was concerningly close, and his stomach lurched at the reality of it. If he hadn't been procrastinating with the human he'd have seen them coming sooner. Not that he supposed it would have done him much good.

Zim scrambled frantically back out of his base and into the crisp night air, his spider legs clattering against roof tiles as he raced back towards Dib's house, not caring if he was seen this time. Like it mattered, they'd all be dead soon. But despite his haste he froze as he reached Dib's house. How the hell was he going to do this?

Zim took a moment to take some deep breaths, trying to calm his racing pulse. He looked up at the empty sky. It was so quiet, who could have guessed in a few hours' time this peaceful sky would be filled with smoke and fire? _Enjoy your last moments of peace, humans._ Zim thought bitterly, and slid stealthily back into the boy's room.

The human was still fast asleep. He looked so peaceful, how could he be about to bring his world crashing down? Zim so envied his blissful ignorance. He perched anxiously at the edge of the bed, wracking his brain for the right words.

"Zim?" Dib's sleepy voice nearly made him jump out of his skin. "Where'd you go?" Dib shuffled closer, groggily rubbing his eyes.

"I… I just went home for a bit." Dib detected the uncertainty in Zim's voice immediately, his eyes brightening with alertness. The human had always had a peculiar sensitivity to his feelings, and often seemed to know what was going through Zim's head better than he did.

"Is something wrong?"

Zim turned to face Dib, but his mind turned blank. How was he supposed to tell him that his world was about to end, and that he'd agreed to help do it? Dib's golden eyes were gazing at him so intently, his youthful face creased with worried lines. He knew once he revealed what was happening Dib would never look at him that way again. Dib would hate him for this, and blame him even though there was nothing to be done. Dib would never accept his help he realised in that moment. He would almost certainly sooner die with his people than let Zim save him.

"Zim?" Dib prompted, and Zim realised he'd just been staring at him. His stomach churned - he couldn't do it.

"It's nothing." He turned away, unable to hold Dib's gaze any longer.

"It doesn't seem like nothing." Dib said with concern, gently reaching a hand out to comfort him. Zim closed his eyes, absorbing the gentle warmth of the human's flesh as the boy tenderly rubbed his arm. Such a simple act, but so reassuring even at a time like this. How much longer would he get to feel this?

When Zim remained silent, Dib eventually sighed in resignation. As much as it troubled him, he was used to Zim's bouts of melancholy.

"Well if you won't tell me, maybe you'll let me cheer you up." Zim looked up in surprise and saw Dib's face smirking cheekily at him. He couldn't prevent the heat that rose in his cheeks at Dib's simple words, that familiar itch tingling, the _need_ growing.

Dib leaned forward, and gently grasped Zim's face with his soft, warm hands to draw it closer to his own, bringing their lips together to meet. Zim's irken heart began to pound as their lips moved together, the sensations of this ritual still exciting to him even after repeating them so many times. If he tried to understand it he couldn't, this was not a topic for logic to puzzle out – a concept that was hard for him to accept. But he'd learnt to trust his body to know what to do. Somewhere deep within his genes his irken body still remembered how to do this, and he was amazed at how incredible it felt to give in to the rush of adrenaline and hormones.

Zim felt Dib's hands eagerly begin to strip him of his uniform, and he shivered as their bare flesh touched.

"I thought I'd already dealt with these once tonight." Dib grinned against his lips, and Zim couldn't help but smirk despite everything that was happening. It was no wonder that the humans never made any progress when these feelings could be so completely overwhelming. Still, he felt like such a coward. But wasn't it better to enjoy one last time with him, and to let the human enjoy his last few hours of blissful ignorance rather than ruining them?

It was enough logic for him and Zim gasped as Dib pushed smoothly inside him, the feeling drowning all other thoughts out of his mind as the pleasure took over his body. He buried his claws into the human's thick hair, clinging to his lean frame with every fibre of his being as Dib's burning skin filled him with heat. For those sweet few minutes there was nothing but the two of them. Two beings, neither human nor irken. Just two creatures lost in the simple pleasure of uniting their bodies.

When it was over they lay back on the bed, breathing deeply to catch their breath. Dib's body was coated in a sheen of sweat and his cheeks were flushed pink. A small smile lingered on his lips as he drifted back to sleep, his arm draped across Zim's torso. Zim gazed down at him despondently. He didn't want to give this up. Who'd have ever thought he could grow so attached to a human. Perhaps he _was_ still defective, he mused as his eyelids grew heavy. He suddenly felt so weary, and the Dib's feverish heat was making him almost uncomfortably warm. Before he knew it the sound of Dib's soft breathing had lulled him back to sleep.

And the armada crept closer.

In hindsight Zim would realise how foolish he had been to fall asleep that night. It was something that would haunt him forever as a fatal mistake.

He awoke to the sound rumbling, grogginess and confusion clouding his senses. He reached out an arm and found the bed empty. The sound of a large explosion made him jolt fully awake.

"Dib!?" Zim panicked as he bolted upright, but his eyes quickly located the boy. Dib was stood by the window staring out, his naked back to him. Zim could see his body trembling, his knuckles turning white as he clutched the windowsill.

Zim's pulse quickened as he leapt out of bed. It was happening _already_? He hadn't expected the fleet to arrive so swiftly, but then his calculations had been based off old technology. Their ships must have improved in the few years he had been out of touch with them. He grabbed his scattered uniform and tugged it on as quickly as he could manage whilst the world began to turn to madness outside.

"Dib, get dressed quickly. We have to get out of here." Zim ordered the boy as he located his boots, roughly shoving his clawed feet into them. When he sensed that Dib had not so much as twitched at his words, he turned reluctantly back towards the boy. "Dib?" He saw the human's shoulders quiver.

"Zim those…" Dib's voice cut out as his throat constricted from shock. "Those are… irken ships…" Zim felt his stomach plummet.

"Dib…" Where was he supposed to start? But he didn't have to worry about that anymore. Dib wasn't going to give him a chance to explain. Before Zim knew what was happening Dib had grabbed him roughly by the fabric of his top and had slammed him backwards, his pak smashing painfully against the wall.

"What the hell Zim? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!" Dib yelled in his face, his eyes ablaze with fury.

"Dib I had nothing to do with this, you have to believe me. We're wasting time, we have to get out of here!" Zim winced as his back bent painfully against his pak. Dib knew how much this was hurting him.

"Do you think I'm completely stupid? The sky is full of irken ships… and you have _nothing_ to do with it?"

"It's true! Please Dib-" but Dib didn't want to hear any more.

"JUST STOP IT!" Dib dropped his gaze then, breathing heavily. When he looked back up at Zim, his face had crumbled into one of despair and anguish, and Zim could hardly stand the pain he saw there. "Zim… I trusted you. I gave you everything… and this whole time it was a lie?" His grip on Zim's top grew slack as his energy drained from him, his hands falling away. "And I fell for it."

Zim felt a heart he didn't know he had shatter at the look of total defeat on Dib's face, water beginning to pool in his eyes and leak down his flushed skin. The boy truly believed that this had all just been a long game, a means to an end.

"Dib… I never lied to you."

"Don't."

"But Dib I-"

"It's over okay!" Dib's anger returned with a flash. "You don't need to fucking toy with me anymore! You won okay? Just like you always wanted!"

Zim was speechless. This really was it. There was nothing he could say to convince Dib that he'd had no control over this. After all, hadn't he agreed to take a part in it? Whether he could save the Dib or not now, anything that there had ever been between them was destroyed beyond repair.

That moment seemed to stretch out, the details etching themselves deep into Zim's memory. The un-earthly glow from fires outside, Dib's unkempt hair sticking up messily, the sounds of Dib's feeble sobs somehow managing to be infinitely louder to him than the sounds of the city being destroyed around them.

Suddenly the room lit up pink as Zim's pak began to flash, a computerised voice sounding from within, " _REMOTE TELEPORT ACTIVATING."_

"NO!" Zim yelled, reaching towards Dib desperately, but it was already too late. The last thing he saw was Dib's eyes widen in surprise before the dark blues of the room vanished, replaced with the brightly lit deck of the Massive. He squinted around at the room, his eyes adjusting to the harsh light.

"Ah Zim, you've joined us I see. My… you _have_ grown haven't you?" Red's casually sneering voice reached his antennae and he spun around to find the Tallest's lounging in their reclining chairs nearby. "You didn't seem to be at your base so we had you teleported here, presuming you didn't _intend_ to be blown up with the humans of course."

"We already launched the invasion, what were you thinking?!" Purple exclaimed.

"I'm sorry sirs, there was… just something I had to do." Zim responded sullenly, his mind thousands of miles below. That was it, it was over. The Dib was probably already dead. Incinerated even, not a scrap of him left. He'd never see him again.

"Take a look!" Purple said excitedly, pointing down at the main window at the head of the ship. "That must feel pretty good right?"

Zim swallowed hard as he gazed down at the ships sweeping their canons across the surface of the Earth. It was strange that the scene was so silent here after being in the midst of it only moments ago, the only noises being the gentle hum and bleeps of the ships machinery. He could only watch as the destruction raged below.

Suddenly something forced him forwards, hitting him from behind and making him fall to his hands and knees. His pak buzzed with energy as a cable connected to it, that familiar tingle running down his spine as the ships computer altered his very essence, forcing him to submit. He looked up as a nearby screen displayed the rank hardwired into his system as a food service drone, but his eyes widened as it changed to the rank of commander.

"There you go Zim. Due to your increase in height and your newfound sanity we've upgraded you to commander. You'll play a key role in managing the invasion and conversion of this planet. But I warn you now, the slightest hint of madness and we'll banish you somewhere so grim you'll miss Earth!" Red warned sternly, chuckling at the ludicrousy of his own joke.

Zim barely heard them, he was transfixed by the screen before him. Commander? He wasn't sure he'd actually believed the Tallest would do it – they really were fickle. It was what he'd always dreamed of, to be a proper invader. So why did it feel so hollow?

Zim shook himself angrily. This was pointless, all that time on Earth had made him weak. He was acting like a stupid human, but he was an irken! He was superior! The Dib was almost certainly dead so there was no point in moping around. He couldn't change what had happened now, it was already far too late. He had had an opportunity to act and he hadn't, and now he had to live with that. Since when did he need a human to survive anyway?

This _was_ what he'd always wanted, so by Irk he was going to do it and do it well. He _would_ make his Tallests proud, he couldn't make them regret giving him another chance after everything he'd already put them through. Zim climbed to his feet resolutely as the cable withdrew from his pak, holding his head tall.

He _was_ an irken invader, and it was his job to conquer this planet.

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 _AN: Thanks for reading! Hope I wasn't too out of practise. I have another 2 chapters written in rough, and the whole story planned out so it will just be finding the time to update. I will do my best but adult life is a time suck D:_


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Thanks for the lovely reviews Human-Huamnoid/Guest, I hope you enjoy the next chapter :3_

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 **Chapter 2**

Within a week 90% of the population of Earth had been wiped out, and the remainder enslaved and put to work processing their own planet for Irken use. Zim oversaw the progress, quickly establishing himself as a formidable commander. He was quiet and intense, and no one seemed to know where he had come from which surrounded him with mystery and rumours. That and his short temper made him an irken not to be messed with, but he hardly noticed the fear he invoked in others. He was far too wrapped up in his own mission.

Zim used his authority to visit the slave camps. No one really understood why he did it. Most irkens did their best to stay away from the filthy humans, but they were too wary of him to question his motives. Zim hadn't really thought about what the camps would be like and the first time he visited one he'd had to fight to maintain his composure. The sight of those pitiful, stinking humans twisted his insides into knots. Once the scene of them chained together, trudging their way through their own filth would have brought him such glee, but now it just made him feel sick. It wasn't that he cared about them, it was simply the thought of it happening to his once Tallest Dib.

Upon spotting Zim's reaction the irken in charge had reassured him that the humans evoked the same revulsion in all irkens, and that someone of his station didn't need to be there. But Zim had been insistent, and had checked every slave. He just couldn't imagine leaving his human behind in a place like this. Once he felt satisfied that none of these wretches were his Dib he moved onto the next camp, and then the next, and the next.

Zim scoured all of the potential camps that Dib could have been taken too, not knowing what he'd do if he actually found him. At times he wasn't even sure if he _wanted_ to find him. The boy would be far better off suffering a quick, clean death rather than ending up in one of these pits of despair. Of course it didn't matter though, because he never did. The chances of him being in that 10% were minimal and he knew it. Zim struggled to accept that truth, but as more time passed he realised how much his time spent with the Dib had changed him beyond all repair. He'd tried so hard to be the irken he'd always wanted to be, but he just couldn't deny the fact that he was miserable. The obsession of his search had consumed him, and now he had nowhere left to look he just felt empty.

For a long time Zim resisted the urge to revisit the Dib's house, but in the end he couldn't stop himself. He knew it was illogical to hope he'd find the boy there, hiding from the ruins of the city, but it still hurt to find the place empty. It was worse than he'd expected. The side of the house had suffered substantial damage and the window through which he had always gained access had been replaced with a crumbling hole. He made some excuse to his attendants and slipped out of sight, cautiously making sure no one was looking before he climbed into what was left of the room.

His pulse quickened at the sight of the wreckage. The walls were scorched and pockmarked, Dib's old posters and research that used to adorn them blackened and torn beyond recognition. The floor was littered with glass and rubble, mixed in with Dib's once treasured belongings. As something crunched underfoot Zim leaned down to look and a dark stain caught his eye.

Blood. Human blood, too dark to be irken. It was old and dry of course, but it still made his throat clench fiercely and he stumbled backwards and fell as he recoiled from it. He didn't try to get back up as his heart pounded in his chest and his stomach turned sickeningly. He should _not_ have come here. All it had done was make it all the more painfully real.

Zim took a moment to take a few deep, cleansing breaths, screwing his eyes tight shut against the scene. He clenched his fist against the ground and felt his claws close around something soft. He cracked his eyes open to take a look and found that it was one of the Dib's t-shirts – the one he'd been wearing on their last day together. He had a sudden, vivid flashback of tearing it from the boy's body in a state of lust, the evening sun slanting richly through the window, Dib grinning down at him impishly. It had lain here forgotten ever since, buried by rubble and ash.

Zim kneaded the material absent-mindedly with his claws as he stared at his precious find, fixated by it. It was blue as many of the Dib's tops had been, with a silly grey ghost picture on the front. He scowled as he saw that this too was spattered with a few droplets of blood. He tried to detect the Dib's scent on it, but it had been buried here too long. His scent was marred by smoke and dust from the damaged building, and the sharp tang of blood was all he could detect. Still he clutched it to his chest feebly.

He knew he should drop it now, leave all this behind, but he just couldn't bring himself to. He quickly stashed the thing away in his pak and picked himself up off the floor, dusting himself down. He climbed back out of the building without another backward glance, his composure firmly recovered. It wasn't until weeks later that Zim would come to realise the significance of his souvenir.

Zim had retired for to his room for a time to rest after a long shift. It was hard getting back into the swing of things after his cushy life on Earth. He'd become soft spending so much time asleep with the Dib creature, though in honesty he'd never really worked to his full potential before the human either, not since his training at least. This was his first time working a _real_ invasion, and his body ached. He knew it would toughen up soon enough but for now he just wanted some time away from prying eyes.

He'd spent so long in isolation, it was almost overwhelming to be so constantly surrounded by his own people. He'd forgotten how tirelessly and ruthlessly they worked, but it wasn't just that. He had a near constant feeling of surveillance, of his every action being scrutinised. He was sure the other irkens either didn't realise or didn't care, but that was probably just because they had nothing to hide. Zim felt he had to think about everything he did, wondering whether he'd responded correctly, doubting if his facial expression was right or not. It was exhausting.

He flopped down onto his bed. It wasn't as warm and inviting as the human's bed had been but he'd still managed to acquire a more comfortable bed than was standard Irken issue, and he even had a blanket and pillows for it. He didn't allow anyone into his bedchamber – not that he'd ever needed to stop anyone, but he made sure everyone knew it was out of bounds. They would ask too many questions about his strange habits, and this was the one place he could hide and attempt to relax.

Zim sighed and reached for the t-shirt that he kept in his bed, drawing it to his face and closing his eyes for a time. He still thought about getting rid of it. At times he could feel only anger at himself for his stupid attachment to an inanimate object. He couldn't tell if he simply wasn't trying hard enough to move on or whether he would feel like this forever. His stomach roiled with despair and he clutched the top tighter. He flinched when a roughness caught the soft skin of his face, and drew back to inspect the crusty splatters of blood that still clung to the sleeve. He picked at it absent-mindedly. He really should have cleaned this thing.

At that moment his eyes widened, his antennae standing on end. Blood. It had Dib's _blood_ on it. His DNA…

Zim sat bolt upright, his heart beginning to hammer in his chest at the possibility that had been staring him in the face. Irkens were experts at making clones, after all every Irken is grown in a lab - it was smeets-play. He had everything he needed. All the equipment was right here on board the ship… he could _grow_ another Dib. It was an ingenious idea, he grinned to himself. He didn't have to be miserable moping after the boy he'd lost, he could keep him here in his room, a secret, the best of both worlds. He could even improve him, _his_ creation would have no need for those silly optical aids. He'd be _perfect_.

Zim could barely contain his excitement, and very nearly ran the whole way to the labs right there and then. But he had to be mindful. He couldn't let anyone find out about what he was doing. He was sure he could pass the Dib off as a slave he'd taken for personal use if he had to, but actually creating a human would definitely bring unwelcome questions.

So that night he made his careful plans, allowing for every detail. He would work out when the labs were most quiet and pilfer the equipment he needed to a separate room which he could claim and lock away. At the very least his superiority would make that much easy. Not many would have the guts to question why he needed it or what he was doing as long as they didn't suspect what his goal was. Once everything was in place Zim just had to find the time to hide himself away and do the science necessary to start the growth, and then it would just need a week or two to grow with careful monitoring.

Everything went exactly to plan, and within a matter of days of his epiphany Zim had an embryo to nurture. He gazed at the tiny, translucent blob lovingly, hardly able to believe it would soon look like the boy he had lost. A moment later and his awe had dissolved into frustrated impatience and he scowled at the thing, willing it to grow quicker. Leaving it each time was torture, and his working hours were spent fretting that his clandestine project would be discovered and disposed of in his absence. Zim could barely contain himself in the last few days before his Dib was due to reach completion, and he had to make a conscious effort to focus on his work and not spend too long away from his duties. He watched his creation mature avidly as it hung suspended in a tube of fluid, beginning to look more like Dib every time he visited.

Finally the time came. He'd timed this perfectly – almost all the Irkens on board the Massive were at a gathering to celebrate the breaking of another planet they were invading across the galaxy. He might be missed, but the Tallests would almost certainly be too engrossed in the misery of those pitiful inhabitants and far too high on sugar to care. He would make his excuses if he had to, but right now was the moment he'd been waiting for. He double checked the readings and they all read as 100% complete. His pulse quickened as he tapped the key that would drain the solution and release his creation.

Zim hurried over to the tube, gazing intently at the humans perfect features. His thick black hair swirled as the fluid began to pass out of the container, his limp body coming to rest at the bottom once it was all gone. Slowly the tube rose, and Zim rushed to catch the boy as he fell from the stand. Zim thought his heart would burst as he cradled the human in his arms, his skin perfect and devoid of any flaws. He would have a short time before the Dib gained consciousness, so there was no time to waste.

He hoisted the boy up securely in his arms, his metal legs sprouting from his pak to assist in carrying the creature that was actually larger than he was. He spirited silently out of the labs, precious cargo held tight to his chest, and swiftly made his way back to his chambers. Thankfully his plan worked perfectly and he only needed to dodge out of sight a couple of times.

As he slammed the door shut on his room he took a moment just to breathe, his heart hammering in his chest. Carefully he carried the boy through to his bed and laid him down as though he were made of glass, covering his nakedness with the bed sheets and gently setting a pillow beneath his head. Zim perched on the side of the bed anxiously, eyes wide and antennae erect, and admired his work. His pale skin was completely flawless, so soft and fresh that it was just begging to be touched. Zim watched as it stretched fragilely over the boy's ribs as his chest rose and fell with each soft breath, and still the boy did not stir.

How much longer did he have to wait? He felt the seconds stretch out torturously. Zim's antenna twitched with irritation. Here he was again, waiting for the Dib to wake up once more. He felt a moment of vertigo at the sudden throwback, and for a moment it was like none of it had ever happened.

At long last the Dib took a small, shuddering breath, causing Zim to nearly fall off the bed in fright. It was awake. _He_ was awake. Zim watched keenly as the boy's face scrunched up, and he pushed himself up into a sitting position. He slowly opened his eyes for the first time and gazed down at himself, holding his hands out in front of him as though he were trying to figure himself out.

"Dib…" Zim breathed, catching the boy's attention. His breath hitched in his throat as their eyes locked. "That's you, your name. It's Dib. Do you remember?" He rambled nervously. The clone should have retained all of Dib's memories. He seemed to consider it for a moment before coming to a conclusion.

"Yes. I remember." Zim's pulse quickened at the sound of Dib's voice. He thought he'd never hear it again.

"And… do you know who I am?" Zim began to feel nervous as Dib's eyes bored into him.

"You're Zim." He said matter-of-factly. Zim's antennae quivered nervously with tension as the clone stared at him unwaveringly, and he suddenly felt he had to look away.

"Dib… you don't… hate me, do you?" Zim asked in a small voice. It was the moment this all hung on, the response to this question he had so feared to ask.

"No." Dib replied after a moment, and Zim's head snapped back up in surprise.

"You don't? But… you remember everything that happened? Before you…" Zim gulped it back.

"Yes." Zim gazed at the boy uncertainly. His face gave nothing away, and his bluntness startled him.

"Sure seems like you're mad…" Zim muttered under his breath. "Well… good! I'm glad. Um… do you understand… _what_ you are then?" He decided to get all the awkward topics out of the way first.

"I'm a clone of Dib Membrane, synthesised from a sample of his blood by you, irken Zim." Dib sounded almost robotic as he recited it, and Zim hung his head, his heart heavy with the recollection that this wasn't the _real_ Dib. The silence stretched out between them until Zim felt himself begin to waver, moisture threatening to leak from his eyes.

"Dib, would you hold me?" Zim's voice came out tiny. He felt so weak to ask it, especially after all this time living as an irken, but he just couldn't take it anymore. He just wanted things to be the way they were.

"Of course Zim." Dib said as he moved over to scoop Zim into his arms, and the Irken buried his face into the boy's chest desperately. For the briefest of moments everything felt perfect again as the warmth encircled him, the feeling of security he'd so missed returning. But it soon faded when he tried to inhale the Dib's scent. Of course it wouldn't be the same, scents were as much made from environment as your actual body. It was so faintly like his scent, a shadow of a reminder. He was sure he'd get used to it he tried to tell himself. The steady thumping of Dib's healthy heart soothed his own racing one. Zim sighed deeply, feeling the boy's perfect new skin soft and warm against his cool cheek, just as it always had been.

Zim drew back just enough to be able to look up at Dib and their eyes locked, their faces close. Zim felt that familiar heat rising in his cheeks, and nervously he leaned forward until their lips brushed together. The Dib's lips were so delicate and soft that Zim near melted as they touched his. He ran his irken tongue teasingly along them hoping that Dib would deepen the kiss, but he quickly realised that the boy wasn't responding. Zim flushed harder in sudden embarrassment, and drew sharply away from the human.

"I thought you said you weren't mad at me?" He accused testily.

"I'm not." Dib responded calmly, seemingly not phased at all.

"Then… why didn't you kiss me back?" Zim asked in confusion.

"I'm a clone. I can only do what you instruct me. I can't act without permission."

Zim sat back on the bed, letting go of the boy. Of course, irken technology was designed to build clones that were 100% obedient. Why would they need to think for themselves? Even organic irkens were mindless before their paks are attached. Zim suddenly felt anger bubble up inside himself. He'd let himself believe that the Dib had forgiven him for his betrayal, but in reality this creature was just too mindless to be angry with him. How could he be so stupid? And why did it still matter so much to him?

He felt a growl erupt from his lips as his temper peaked, and in a blind fit of rage he swiped his claws at the Dib's face. Breathing heavily he looked at what he'd done. The boy looked a bit stunned but there was no major display of pain on his face. He held a hand up to his face and gingerly touched the gashes across his cheek, as blood began to seep from them. Dib looked back at him with questioning eyes and now that Zim really looked at them they seemed glassy somehow, the colour not as bright and lacking the sparkle that the _real_ Dib's had had. He felt a small wave of guilt and averted his eyes. Day one and he'd forever marked the perfect skin that he'd been admiring not minutes ago.

"Well I suppose you're still functional for most things. It's better this way." Zim grumbled, keeping his eyes low and focusing intently on straightening his gloves. He'd decided to be irken after all hadn't he? He'd chosen the irken path so what use did he have for emotions? An obedient clone was an improvement. Zim got up from the bed and brushed himself down, straightening his uniform. "I have work to do, I'll be missed on the deck. I assume you know how to care for yourself while I'm gone?"

"Yes Zim." Dib responded quietly.

"Good." And with that Zim left without another glance back, locking the door behind him.

He stormed down the corridor, his emotions blazing wildly out of control, until he felt the ground beneath him sway and had to pause to lean against the wall. He had to calm down, this was ridiculous. What was he so upset about? So he'd thought he'd gained some sort of forgiveness that wasn't real, it wasn't like it mattered any more. The real Dib was gone and nothing that had happened to Earth could be undone.

His plan had worked. He had a new Dib, one just for him, that would do his any bidding. It looked like him and it sounded like him. So what was his problem? Why had he stormed out so soon? Why had he struck the poor thing? In that moment his rage had just blinded him. It wasn't like it mattered, right? The boy clearly didn't feel anything. It was more like a living doll than an actual human being. Nonetheless he resolved to himself to take more care, he didn't want to break his creation after all. It was all he had.

Zim tried to shake all these confusing thoughts from his head and continued towards the main deck, feeling more determined this time. He would throw himself into his work for now and think about this anew upon his return.

It was many hours later, it could even have been days before Zim finally decided to return to his bedroom. He wasn't exactly sure how long it had been. He had tried to absorb himself in his work but he simply hadn't been able to keep the Dib clone off his mind. But it was only when he'd been passing one of the human slave camps that he'd been reminded of something vital.

One of the humans had been begging for food and water, and Zim had realised with horror that he hadn't provided such things for his own human. How long had it been? He'd had to hide his panic and excuse himself as quickly as possible, smuggling some of the human slave supplies away with him. He practically ran towards his room once he was out of sight, and yet still he found himself hesitating when he reached the door. He took a deep breath, and entered.

Zim's room opened into a fairly large lounging space, with a separate room for his actual bed. There were comfy chairs and even a long, horizontal window at the fair end which looked down over Earth. The clone was sat by the window, gazing down at the planets destruction.

"Dib…" Zim called nervously as he approached the boy, wondering what was going through his head. Was he distressed by what he saw? If he was his face didn't give it away.

Dib turned to face Zim and stood as he approached, and Zim saw him wobble as he got shakily to his feet. He hadn't meant to neglect him, he'd just been so freaked after their first encounter that nothing sensible had occurred to him.

"I'm sorry, I'm not sure how long it's been… I didn't think…" Zim muttered as he held out a container of water and some food towards the boy. Dib looked slowly from Zim to his outstretched hand holding the offerings. "Take it. Eat. Drink. I presume I don't have to instruct you to do that." Zim said with some frustration as the boy finally took it.

"No. Essential bodily functions and maintenance do not require instruction."

Zim eyed Dib's injured cheek as he said this. The boy had cleaned the wound but it still looked red and sore. Humans were so rubbish at healing, he would have to acquire some ointment or something to speed up the process.

"These are your supplies, keep them in here but make sure you always close the door." Zim explained as he packed the rest away into a nearby compartment. "No one can know you're here so don't leave any evidence lying around. And if anyone ever comes in make sure you keep out of sight in the bedroom or bathroom." Zim felt a little ashamed in himself that he hadn't dealt with these things immediately, he was so stupid. He looked back at Dib to see if what he'd said had sunk in.

Dib was slowly eating whatever it was he had given him. It was lumpy and not very colourful - it definitely didn't look appealing. What were they even feeding the slaves? He decided to look into it as he watched Dib eat carefully and emotionlessly, his hands shaking ever so slightly. A memory flashed into his mind then unbidden, of the original Dib eagerly stuffing his face with pizza. So much joy over a piece of disgustingly greasy human food…

Zim suddenly became aware that the Dib had finished his meal and was staring at him expectantly.

"Um… do you feel better?" Zim asked self-consciously, turning away to fuss with his sleeve.

"Yes, thank you Zim."

It was the most human thing he'd heard the clone say so far. Such a simple sentence but it made his heart flutter. Zim looked over his creation. The boy had dressed himself in a pair of Zim's black leggings but that was all, just enough to maintain his modesty. They didn't leave a huge amount to the imagination, and Zim bit his lip as his eyes grazed over his exposed, immaculate torso. He felt a need begin to grow – great Irk it had been such a long time. These other Irkens had no idea what they were missing out on, the pleasures that most of them lived their whole lives without awakening.

Zim faltered then. He'd never realised before, but it had always been the Dib that had initiated the activity. It wasn't so much that Zim was shy, just more uncertain and unexperienced. He tried to remember what Dib would have done first. Usually they just seemed to be in the thick of it before Zim had even realised what was going on, though he was fairly sure Dib had always known what he was doing.

Zim gulped and stepped closer to the clone. He removed his gloves and ran his claws down the boy's chest, actually feeling the perfectly smooth skin for the first time. He smiled slightly as he saw goose-bumps rise on Dib's skin, but it soon faded when he looked up to find the boy's face devoid of emotion.

"If I ask you to act a certain way, you can do it?" Zim didn't know why he was asking, he knew the boy could.

"Yes Zim."

Zim gulped again. Time to stop stalling. He took hold of the boy's wrist and led him into the bedroom, and then stood before him once more.

"Would you undress me?" He felt so silly asking but the clone didn't bat an eyelid, and immediately began to peel away his uniform. He did it carefully and efficiently, and another memory blasted into Zim's mind. It was that time that Dib had been so full of lust that he'd torn Zim's invader uniform pulling it roughly from his body. Zim had been so mad about it at the time. So why did it bother him that the clone was taking such care?

He soon stood naked as a smeet before the boy, feeling self-conscious about the formality of it. Zim bent to pull the leggings down from the boy's waist when he saw a bulge had formed there. He was pleasantly surprised to discover that the clone had become aroused so quickly. Of course it made sense, he was cloned from Dib after all and humans in general did seem quite incapable of containing their bodily urges. Feeling encouraged and a little aroused himself, Zim quickly swiped the pants from him.

"Please, kiss me back when I kiss you." Zim whispered as he leant in towards Dib's lips once more. It was a bit clumsy, but when he felt the boys lips move against his own his heart began to pound, and instinct began to take over. His need soon became desperate as he felt his own organ emerge from it's sheath, brushing against the Dib's with a feeling like electricity.

Zim gripped the clone and threw him down onto the bed, clambering on top of him urgently. Of course the boy just lay there looking clueless, but he was so caught up in the moment now that none of it mattered. He took the boys hands and placed them on his sides, positioning himself over Dib's erection. Zim leant down to hungrily kiss the boy again as he slid himself down, groaning into the clones mouth at the long missed sensation. Needily he moved himself up and down the Dib's length, until his frustration drove him to dig his claws into the boy's shoulders, harder than necessary.

"Don't just lay there, thrust into me," He growled impatiently, his voice husky. The boy complied immediately and Zim soon found himself exclaiming with his climax. Zim fell onto the clone's chest, panting to catch his breath.

"Oh Irk I missed this," He gasped. Zim wondered idly if the clone had finished too. If Dib had made any kind of sound he'd been too caught up in the moment to hear it. After a few recovery moments he rolled over and off the boy, and soon discovered that the Dib had indeed climaxed too. When had it happened? Zim searched his face for some sort of acknowledgement of what had just happened between them, but found nothing. The boy was a bit flushed and slightly out of breath, but mostly he just looked spaced out.

Zim didn't know why it bothered him so much. He lay back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. His own enjoyment was what counted right? It didn't matter if the clone had liked it or not. Still, he couldn't deny that the whole scenario had lacked… _something._ He felt his anger begin to rise again. Anger at himself, at the clone, at goddamn everything. He quickly got off the bed and left for the bathroom before he did something he regretted again.

Once he had cleaned himself of the boy's seed and allowed his tempter to cool he returned to the bedroom. The clone lay right where he'd left it, naked as the day he was created. Zim's eyes widened as he noticed the claw marks he'd left on Dib's shoulders. Small rivulets of blood had trickled down and pooled in his collar bone. Zim sighed in frustration. His claws were sharp and human skin was so delicate. He'd left at least a few marks on the original Dib in his time. He had to start being more careful or there'd be nothing left of the clone soon. Though did it really matter? He supposed he could always make another.

He couldn't help it, the clone was just so infuriating. He was supposed to have been perfect. He _was_ perfect by irken standards at least, and yet he still wasn't happy. A wave of sadness and fatigue washed over him then, his antennae wilting. It had been a long time since he'd slept even for an irken, and he'd been working his body so hard as well as the emotional rollercoaster he'd been on. All he wanted to do now was sleep.

Zim climbed onto the bed next to the clone, dragging the duvet with him. He nestled himself into the crook of Dib's arm and lay his head on the boy's chest, just like he always used to and pulled the duvet up to cover them both. For now at least, like this, he could forget. When he closed his eyes he tried to imagine that the room they slept in was dark and blue and cluttered with silly human things, the moon casting its cold light in from the small window.

He soon started to drift off and his imaginations began to take on a life of their own as they twisted into dreams, becoming more vivid. The leaves on the trees outside rustled gently, and he could hear the low murmur of Gaz's video games from the next room. Dib's arm tightened around him, squeezing him closer. The feeling of lips pressed sweetly against his forehead, and Dib's scent surrounded him.

When Zim awoke for a moment he was still there. He cringed his face away from the sunlight, pressing into Dib's skin and clutching the boy tighter. He expected Dib to hug him closer at this point, as was his habit when the boy didn't want to get out of bed yet and tried to trap him there, but when his arm remained slack by his side the fantasy drained back into reality. Zim sat up reluctantly, groggily rubbing his eyes. Would every moment that remained of his life be shadowed with disappointment now?

Zim glanced at the clone. He seemed to be asleep so Zim quietly removed himself from the bed and silently began to get dressed. He didn't know why he tried not to wake the clone, he just wasn't in any mood to face those empty eyes of his. He hurried out of his quarters and away to where he was expected to report in today, eager for the distraction. Once he was there however, he wished he hadn't hurried.

When Zim arrived the irken who had been in charge caught him up-to-date on the invasion. One of the human slave camps had completed building their designated structure – some docking station or something of complete disinterest to Zim. He tried to listen but his mind just kept wandering. Had he been right to mate with the Dib clone? Of course he had, it was one of the reasons he'd built it, right? So then why did he feel so empty? _Guilty_ even? It was ridiculous and he knew it.

"Sir?" Zim started as the irken prompted him for a response.

"Oh, yes of course." Zim bluffed, hoping he would get away with it. The irken who was in charge of this project - Dex - didn't look too convinced but he nodded anyway.

"Ok, let's get going then."

Zim wondered absent-mindedly where they were going as they boarded a small ship to take them down to the planet's surface. It turned out they were inspecting the docking port that had been completed, and Zim had to continue to pretend to be interested as the irken explained everything in extreme detail. He was sure he used to find this stuff interesting.

After that was finished he was taken down to the courtyard where they were holding the human slaves. They were a wretched lot, what was left of them. They huddled miserably together, thin, dirty and shivering with cold. All but one that is. Zim didn't see the human boy start towards him, and Dex called out too late for him to dodge the rock that hit him square in the head.

Zim fell to his knees dazedly, his head ringing. He turned to look to make sense of what had happened, and his heart nearly stopped. Dex was pulling a gun on Dib - his Dib was alive! Zim scrambled to his feet and slammed Dex as hard in the back of his head as he could, throwing him heavily to the ground before he could take the shot. Zim froze in that moment, his head still spinning and trying to catch up with reality.

"Dib! Dib? How are you…" Zim trailed off as he stared at the boy who cowered before him, sure his life had been about to end. But it wasn't Dib. He was about the same age and build, with a mop of black hair, but that was where the resemblance ended. Zim simply continued to stare at him, his head whirling and his stomach churning queasily. The boy pleaded in a language that wasn't Earth English, and he recalled that they weren't even on the right continent for it to have been Dib.

Zim's brain began to catch up, and his blood ran cold as he realised what he'd just done. Dex lay unconscious on the ground next to him, pink blood trickling from his mouth. He'd assaulted a fellow irken because a boy _looked_ like Dib. He didn't know whether to be devastated or furious with himself. He felt a trickle of moisture run down his cheek from the wound on his own head, time crawling by slowly. That was when he heard the muttering voices behind him, and turned to see to his horror that his actions had been witnessed by his colleagues.

"I… ugh… can someone get Dex some help? I…" Zim stuttered, his mind stumbling. _Have more authority, this wasn't how irkens talked_. "Dex needs medical assistance, now!" He recovered, and nervously a few of the irkens came forward to gather Dex onto a stretcher and away. Zim stared dumbly after him until Dex's second in command came hesitantly forward. Perhaps she thought Zim would strike her down too.

"Do you need a gun sir?" She tried to talk firmly, asserting herself.

"What?"

"To deal with the human… he attacked you." She clearly wanted an answer to what had happened but as Zim was the highest in command no one was about to challenge him. Zim's pulse quickened, though he wasn't sure why. When he didn't respond she continued. "Sir… if you're not feeling well after your injury, we can deal with him with the rest."

"The rest?" Zim asked dumbly, and she began to show signs of frustration.

"We assumed they'd all be disposed of now that the port is complete."

So simple, like they were the waste wrapper on a sandwich. Good for nothing but the bin. Zim caught himself. Why did that bother him? This is the way it was. How it always had been. He felt his anger beginning to surface once more. Why was he being this way, in front of others now too?

"Yes, of course. Give me your gun, I need to deal with this one myself." Her opinion of him clearly altered, and she promptly passed him her weapon.

Zim walked up to the boy and pointed the weapon square at his face. Unbidden, images of Dib bruised and bloodied in his grasp came into his mind. He hadn't been able to kill the Dib then, angry as he'd been. If he'd just done it then, none of this would have happened. He would have never formed a relationship with a human, never grown weak. His hand shook as he clenched the trigger furiously. The boy's lip quivered, a tear escaping and rolling down his dirty cheek, and he knew he couldn't do it. His arm went lax and he let out the breath he hadn't known he'd been holding.

"I really don't feel very well. I'm going to medical." Zim said as he pushed the gun back into the irkens hands. "Deal with this." He avoided her eye as he fled the scene, desperate to escape the numerous critical stares he could feel boring into him. He tried not to hear the screams as gunshots were fired behind him with little success, his stomach churning as they were silenced. He tried to tell himself his nausea was just concussion.

He leapt on the first ship heading back to the Massive that he came across, and once there went immediately to the medical bay, if only to affirm his story. As they were patching up the wound on his head a messenger came in to inform Zim that the Tallests required his presence. Zim shivered nervously. Had someone informed on him? He rose from the bed, and left to face his leaders.

He found them on the main deck, supposedly overseeing the conversion of another city but their focus was mainly on their snacks. As Zim entered hesitantly, they turned to face him eagerly. He could tell from the mischievous look in their eyes that they knew. He wondered who'd told on him.

"Zim! We heard there was a bit of an incident down on Earth just now." Purple asked, barely masking the glee in his voice. They did love a drama. Or an excuse to beat someone.

"Um… yes sirs. My apologies." Zim responded evasively. He didn't want to say anything until he knew their perspective on the event.

"We heard you struck down a fellow irken, a… Dek?" Red turned to the nearest guard for confirmation.

"Dex sir."

"Ah yes Dex. Of course you are well within your right, but it seemed to those that were present that you did it in defence of a _human_?" Red sneered the last, total bafflement in his voice.

"No… that wasn't what happened," Zim flustered, searching for the right words desperately as his pulse quickened. This was exactly as he'd feared. "The human had struck me in the head, I was heavily concussed. I _am_ concussed, I just came from the medical bay."

"So… you protected a human because you were concussed?" Purple asked confusedly.

"No! I was… I was aiming for the human, I didn't mean to hit Dex. I was dizzy… and confused, I…" Zim trailed off, knowing how weak it was sounding. He realised how defensive he was being, he needed to stop acting like he was guilty. "I don't understand what you are asking sirs. I didn't mean to hit my officer, I apologise for my mistake. But like you said, even if it wasn't I outrank him. I can't be held accountable for that. Are you trying to accuse me of saving a human? A human which I then ordered dead along with all of the rest? Why would I do that?" His voice grew louder until he yelled the last, "I hate stinking humans! I wish they were all dead!" Zim panted a bit by the end of his rant, his rage boiling. His head pounded and the room was beginning to swim.

"Geez Zim alright." The tallests looked a bit taken back by his outburst. They exchanged a look before coming to a conclusion. "Fine, we'll forget about this. But don't _you_ forget that we're always watching."

"I know sirs." Zim bowed his head, averting his eyes ruefully.

"Good. Then go deal with your concussion. We don't need your crazy." It was then that he realised that they'd never fully trust him. They'd always be waiting for him to slip and revert to his old ways. He had to be better than this.

Zim practically stormed back to his room, his mind set on one thing. He had to end this. Enough was enough. He burst into the room in a swirl of rage, his red eyes blazing furiously as they met with the clones dull gold ones. The emptiness of them only fuelled his wrath.

"You!" He advanced on the clone, his voice more a growl than speech. He grasped the boy around his fragile neck, clenching until he could feel his windpipe crunching. "This is all your fault! You ruined me! I'm not an irken anymore!" Zim spat in the boy's face, his words meant for the real Dib as much as the clone. The boy gasped for breath, his fingers scrabbling weakly at his neck as his lips began to turn blue. Zim released him only to hit him hard across the face, throwing him to the floor into a crumpled heap.

"I _will_ kill you! Just to prove that I can!" He began to kick and stamp at the human hard, adrenaline pounding through his veins. It was all the clone could do to curl up defensively, hands covering his head. "No! Because I _want_ to! I'm sick of this! I don't need a human to survive, I don't need you reminding me of him every day!"

Zim dropped to his knees and pulled the boys arms away from his face, grabbing him by the shoulders and pulling him up once more, slamming him back against the wall. Zim panted heavily from the exertion, his head throbbing painfully again and forcing him to take a moment. The boy was in a sorry state. Blood trickled from his lips, and his face was clenched with pain. It was the most human he'd ever looked. Dark bruises were already forming around his throat.

"Even now you can't fight back can you?" Zim said between heavy breaths. The clone did not respond. Zim slid a single spider leg from his pak and held the gleaming razor sharp point against the boy's throat.

This time. _This time._

The seconds stretched out. Zim clenched his teeth. He could do this, it was what he wanted. What he needed. His body trembled.

His metal flashed out with lightning speed, and red blood began to gush. Zim let go of the clone as it fell to the floor. The boy looked up at him with searching eyes, and Zim simply stared back. Pathetic. He was no irken, not anymore. The boy clutched his chest where Zim had cut him. Enough to spill some blood, but no more. It had not been a death blow.

"Go and clean yourself up." Zim commanded, his voice croaky from yelling.

He knew now. He would never be able to kill Dib, clone or not.

* * *

A/N: I hope the whole clone thing wasn't too predictable. That feeling exhausted thinking about everything you do, does anyone else get that? Anxiety is so incredibly tiring. On a lighter note, I like to imagine irken antennae reveal their emotions like cat's tails do *w*

Thanks for readgin!


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: I'm sorry it's been so long since I updated! Life is flying by at the moment and I just have so much stuff going on. I am currently writing chapter 5 with chapter 4 just needed a redraft so I promise this story will be completed! Thanks so much for the lovely reviews guys :3_

* * *

 **Chapter 3**

"Irkens Dib… really? Are you really _that_ stupid?" Dib rolled his eyes at his sister's scathing words. "I mean seriously. Of everything that could have happened."

"Ok I get it! I know this is all my fault ok? You don't have to keep on saying it." Dib snapped back at her, reaching the end of his tether. He could only just make out her scowling face from across the dark cell, where she sat with her arms folded on the floor. The void of video games left only Dib to suffer her rage, and he could almost see her fingers twitching after ghost buttons.

"Don't you think it's bad enough without _you_ making me suffer for it too?" Dib grumbled miserably.

Everything had happened so fast. When Zim had disappeared before his eyes he'd been at a loss for what to do. He'd had just enough time to dress himself before the irkens came for him and Gaz. Witnessing his sister roughly bound and dragged away had sent him whirling into a fit of rage at the nearest irken, who of course had batted him away like he was a fly. They'd hit him hard around the head and he'd woken up here – wherever here was. He presumed it was one of the ships orbiting Earth but they could have been anywhere in the universe for all they knew.

He'd lost track of how much time they'd even been in here now. Hours? Days? Weeks? All he knew was that he was parched and their stomachs rumbled angrily. If they didn't get water soon they wouldn't last long. Why were they even keeping them alive? He presumed they'd taken him because of his connection with Zim, or perhaps Zim had ordered it himself.

 _Zim._ Dib's throat constricted every time he thought of the little lizard, somewhere caught between rage and concern that just left him feeling nauseous. He felt so horridly torn even now as he wasted away in this godforsaken place, whilst the irkens laid waste to his planet. He was furious at being deceived by Zim of course, but still part of him worried what had become of him. His mind whirled with doubt. Zim had been claiming innocence, and when he'd been teleported he'd looked surprised. If he _had_ been telling the truth, wouldn't he be in trouble too? His people certainly weren't forgiving, and he knew that they had banished him here as a disgrace. Then Dib's anger would return tenfold, now angry at himself for falling for it all over again and worrying about his betrayer. His head pounded.

In his exhausted, confused, distressed state, a tear escaped Dib's eye. He rubbed it away angrily but couldn't prevent more from falling. He heard Gaz sigh in frustration and get to her feet.

"I _guess_ I forgive you for letting the irkens destroy the planet." She said as she sat down next to him. Dib frowned at her not particularly helpful words, but recognised that she was trying. This was Gaz attempting to comfort him.

"Why would _anyone_ forgive me for that?" Dib muttered sullenly, sniffling back his tears.

"Cause the world was fucked up anyway. We were headed for destruction one way or another. Can't say I ever cared for the place." Dib looked up at her as though she were mad, but strangely he did feel better.

"What are they keeping us for Gaz? What do they want?" He felt her shrug in response, and the silence stretched out.

He must have drifted off, as when the door was slammed open he startled awake, his heart pounding. Without any explanation the irken guards grabbed them both and dragged them from the room. The light outside seemed blinding and it was exhilarating simply to have a change of scenery, but at the same time Dib knew wherever they were going it probably wasn't going to end well. He looked over at Gaz worriedly, but her face was devoid of emotion.

"Where are you taking us?" Dib asked to no avail, none of the irkens even sparing him a glance.

They soon entered a large chamber, and Dib couldn't believe what he saw.

"Dad? Oh my god!" His father was bound to a seat in the centre of the room, his lab coat torn and bloodied and his face a mess. Dib wasn't sure how it made him feel. It was distressing to see anyone so injured, but he couldn't help but feel a certain emptiness past the obligation of the fact this man was his family. He couldn't pretend to feel any love towards the man, and in all honesty he hardly knew him. He would have to have spent some time with him to do that. He glanced at Gaz but she was wide eyed and speechless, her lips pressed into a firm line.

"So Professor, maybe _this_ will be enough to make you comply?" The irken who was presumably in charge spoke to the professor. Dib saw his father look up at them dazedly with bloodshot eyes, but no shock or horror displayed on his face. Dib scowled back at him. The irken looked a bit surprised at Membrane's lack of response, and looked to his co-worker who simply shrugged back. He regained his composure and nodded to the guard who stood by Dib.

In the same moment that Dib twigged what was about to happen he was kicked forcibly to the ground. Before he could recover he felt the irken jab the spiked end of his staff into his side and a jolt of energy filled his body like electricity. He writhed in pain on the ground, the sensation completely debilitating. He had no idea how long the fire was coursing through his limbs, but eventually the black faded from his vision and things started to make sense again. His heart palpitated frantically as his body tried to recover.

Shakily Dib managed to push himself up from the ground. He looked up to find everyone was looking at him. Gaz looked mildly concerned, the irkens looked smug, but his father… nothing. He stared at Dib blankly, as though he was staring at an empty space. Dib felt the anger smoulder inside him. He knew his father was cold and that he shouldn't have expected more, but he couldn't not be shocked by the level of his disinterest. It _hurt._ Even now, after all these years of neglect, his father could still hurt him like no one else could.

"Well Membrane?" The lead irken probed him, sure that he would get some sort of response now, but Dib knew that he would be disappointed.

"I told you. It doesn't matter what you do, I will never work for you." Membrane croaked out, his voice emotionless.

That's all that they were Dib realised in that moment. Leverage. But it would never work, not on his father, and the irkens were going to work that out any second. They were all dead.

"Try the female." The irken instructed, and Dib's blood ran cold.

"NO!" They may never have been close, but Gaz was still his sister and she was all that he had left. He looked desperately to his father. "Dad! Do something!" He saw a brief flicker of emotion but then Membrane simply looked away, his face blank once more. He knew that his father had always favoured Gaz but it would never be enough. He had never hated anyone so much in that moment, not even the traitor Zim. "You BASTARD! How can you be so heartless?" Dib yelled, his voice cracking.

"Shut up Dib." Gaz muttered, scowling at the irken that approached her.

Dib had always known there was something very odd about Gaz, but it was still incredibly unsettling to watch as she silently took the torture, glaring at her father with gritted teeth the whole time.

Upon seeing that they weren't going to get a response out of Gaz or her father the irkens soon gave up, looking at each other with baffled expressions. This had clearly not played out how they had been expecting.

"Ugh, just forget it. This isn't fun anymore and they're not worth this much effort. Just execute them all." The lead irken declared and began storming out of the room before he'd even finished talking. A jolt of adrenaline coursed through Dib and turned his stomach queasily. So this was it.

"Stop." Gaz's voice shook slightly as she picked herself up, but it still carried enough authority that the irken halted mid-step. Everyone in the room waited with baited breath whilst she shakily got to her feet, until she stood tall once more. "Forget him. We'll work for you."

"Gaz!" Dib yelled in incredulity.

"Shut up Dib." She snapped before turning back to the irken.

"What makes you think we'd need you?" The irken sneered as he turned back to face her.

"We're just as smart as the professor. Whatever it is you want him to do, we'll do it. We'll prove our worth." Dib gawped at her in disbelief, but watched as the irken considered his options. Gaz had clearly impressed him. Ignoring her, he looked to the guard.

"Take them back to their cell." He said simply, before promptly exiting the room.

Dib felt dizzy with relief as the irkens roughly grabbed them both and jostled them out of the room. He took one last look back at the professor before they were pushed out into the corridor. Would he ever see him again? He felt angry at himself that even now he found he couldn't wish death on his father, no matter how much he hated him. He only wished his father had had an ounce of that much humanity for them. He didn't even look up at them as they left.

Dib was so full of anger by the time they had been thrown unceremoniously back in their cell that he thought he might burst. As soon as the door had been slammed behind them he rounded on his sister.

"What the fuck Gaz? Are you actually kidding? There's no way I am working for these bastards!" Gaz huffed and rolled her eyes.

"Don't be as stupid as dad Dib." She said with exasperation, which made Dib seethe even more.

"Don't fucking compare me to that monster." He said growled through gritted teeth. He had to take a moment to contain himself, breathing deeply. "I _would_ rather die than help them."

"What's the point Dib?" Gaz snapped back, her own temper flaring. "What's the point of dying for that? They've already won! They don't _need_ our help." Gaz reined in her anger, continuing more carefully. "Look, at least this way we can do _something_. We could fuck them up from the inside, or at least have a chance of escaping or something. I'm not dying for that idiot. I'd rather die trying to make a difference." Dib looked at her in surprise. "I mean don't you want to find out what happened to Zim? I know you're worried about him."

"I'm not fucking worried about that traitor." Dib snapped. They both knew he was lying to himself, but that only made his hatred burn hotter. "But you're right. I can't give up until I've killed Zim. I don't care about escaping, or anything else. I just want Zim dead." For the first time Gaz actually looked shocked. She'd never heard her brother talk like that before.

"Right… ok then." There was a tense moment where they simply stared at each resolutely, their decision made. Gaz eventually sighed and settled down on the floor. Dib relaxed, the tension leaving his body as he went to sit next to her. They awaited their fate in anxious silence.

It was some time before anyone came for them again. Dib's pulse raced as the door was unlocked but Gaz stood firmly, mentally prepared for any outcome. Dib tried to take strength from her confidence and stood beside her as the irkens grabbed them once more.

It felt like they walked them miles, and the adrenaline that had been fuelling Dib began to wear thin as his need for food and water dominated his body. His mind spaced out and the endless corridors all started to look the same. He knew he should be concentrating, trying to map the place in his head, but his brain was just too foggy.

So it caught him totally off guard when he was abruptly shoved to the side and into a tube-like container which quickly sealed behind him. There was barely enough room for him to spread his arms in the tiny space, and he felt the panic rise in his throat.

" _REMOVE ALL CLOTHING AND PREPARE FOR STERILISATION."_ A computerised voice sounded from him above him.

"What?!" Dib exclaimed in shock.

" _REMOVE ALL CLOTHING AND PREPARE FOR STERILISATION,"_ The voice repeated immediately. Given the situation that he was in he realised he would be going nowhere until he complied. Reluctantly he began to remove his clothes - not that there was much to remove. All he'd had time to throw on before they'd taken him was a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, both of which were rather worse for wear now.

He stood anxiously waiting, feeling horribly vulnerable until suddenly the space filled with hot steam, jets of moisture burning his skin and nearly making him choke. It was so hot he thought he was going to pass out until at long last the steam ceased and the air cleared. The opposite side to which he'd been pushed through opened, and he stepped out into another small space. All it contained was a bench with what he presumed he was supposed to wear laid out neatly.

It wasn't so different from what the irkens wore themselves. There was a pair of plain black leggings made from an ambiguous material that felt durable but still flexible and breathable. There was also a pair of slender ankle boots and a simple sleeveless top, plain black except for the large irken symbol emblazoned in aggressive red across the chest. His skin still tingling, he dressed quickly and was surprised to find the garments comfortable, though they were sure to do little to keep him warm.

Another door opened and he found himself back in the corridor with the irken guards. Gaz stood waiting already, her skin pink from the steam and dressed in the same clothes as himself. Though her expression was little different to usual Dib could tell that she was seething. Gaz didn't suffer indignities lightly.

The guards began walking them forwards again the instant he emerged. Dib trudged along wearily, his legs feeling as though they were wading through mud. Gaz seemed unfazed as always but if he didn't get something to eat and drink soon he wouldn't be able to stay standing much longer.

At long last the guards stopped before another doorway and ushered them inside. The room was fairly cramped with rows of simple, uninviting beds lining the walls in bunks. Several of them were occupied with other humans. Dib gazed around at them with shock - he'd never expected to find so many human prisoners here, there had to be at least twenty of them if not thirty.

"Humans are on a break at the moment so I advise you to rest while you can. Shifts are long, and we don't suffer human sleeping habits." One of the guards growled irritably. Clearly it had been a point of contention. "You each get a nutrition ration at the beginning and end of each shift. You can take one now, use these to dispense them." He gestured towards a device mounted on the wall which looked to Dib like a vending machine, and thrust a small tag on a chain towards each of them. "These are your ID tags. Get caught without them, you die. Get caught somewhere you shouldn't be, you die. Try to escape-"

"We die?" Gaz interrupted bitterly. The guard didn't rise to her bating, and simply scowled before sweeping out of the room and locking the door behind him.

"Do you have a death wish?" Dib looked at her in disbelief. She simply shrugged back at him and walked towards the rations dispenser. "Gee, that looks appetising." He grumbled as he peered through the glass at the packets of ambiguous looking 'food'. He watched as Gaz inserted her ID tag into the reader and a package and a can of drink popped out of the bottom. She didn't wait as Dib collected his but tore straight into the peculiar looking lump of… something.

"Well?" Dib asked nervously. She simply shrugged again and walked towards the nearest bed, climbing up to the top bunk without another word. Dib sighed and carried his food over to the bed beneath hers. Well, at least this was an improvement.

Dib had no idea how long he'd been asleep when the alarm sounded, all he did know was that it hadn't been long enough. He became aware of movement around him and groggily sat up, his back twinging from the hard bed. It had been cold too, there wasn't even a sheet to cover themselves with. The stale taste of the rations still lingered in his mouth.

"Dib hurry up." Gaz grumbled at him and Dib looked up in surprise to find all of the other humans - Gaz included – ready and waiting obediently at the door. He quickly stumbled over to join them, his head still clouded from sleep.

He looked around at the other people expecting to see some sort of comradery in the face of their common misfortune, but found none whatsoever. They all looked underfed and drained of any spirit or energy, looking down at their feet or staring off into the distance. Most had injuries of some kind, bruises or worse. Dib gulped, a nervous lump forming in his throat. These people had been utterly broken.

Promptly more guards arrived to escort them to their place of work. It was a big lab, and the other humans went right to their appointed work stations and set immediately to action. Dib and Gaz waited but no one seemed to be about to explain it to them, so Dib approached the nearest human.

"Hey… uhh what are we supposed to be doing?" The man looked at him with wild eyes, his whole body quaking. It made him look more like an animal than a person. Dib supposed that was probably how the irkens saw them.

"Don't talk to me, you can't talk! Get away from me!" He blathered manically, turning his back on Dib and scrabbling at his work with shaking fingers. Dib stared at him with disgust. He'd never let the irkens turn him into that. He turned instead to a nearby woman who had caught his eye cautiously.

"You're new? I didn't think there was anyone else left to find." She spoke carefully under her breath whilst she continued working, keeping her eyes fixed on her work.

"We're Professor Membrane's kids." She nodded in understanding.

"All they want is to see if we're worth keeping. They want to see what human technology can do, and whether any of it can add to what they already have. So far it's not really looking too promising, I don't know how long they'll keep us to be honest. Maybe you'll have better luck." And with that she moved away, firmly signifying that she was done risking getting caught.

Dib looked at the array of tools and materials laid out before them. It was actually quite enticing, there was everything here he could imagine and plenty that he couldn't. He'd always loved tinkering with irken technology, scavenging what he could from Zim. When Tak's ship had landed near his house it had been a dream come true. To his surprise Gaz abruptly walked up to the nearest workbench and immediately began picking something apart. He'd never really seen her do anything other than playing video games, so it was a strange sight. Dib shrugged, and dove in next to her.

The days were long, if you could even call them days. Trapped in that windowless laboratory inside a spaceship there wasn't much concept of time, simply long periods of work broken up by infrequent convenience breaks and brief sleep respites. It was intense and despite his initial determination Dib could feel himself being worn down, by the lack of sleep if nothing else. The irkens just didn't understand or probably more accurately didn't care that humans needed more sleep than they did.

He found the work soon became tedious and he grew uninspired. Gaz however coped much better than he did. She never appeared sleep deprived and she took to the irken technology like she was born for it. He had never seen her so stimulated - she had been wasted on Earth. Dib _was_ interested in the irken technology, but he just couldn't muster the passion for it anymore. His once favourite hobby was now horribly tainted. His only drive to keep going was Zim, whether it be vengeance or worry on his mind.

But the longer time went on the harder he found it to keep faith. Gaz never spoke again of jeopardizing the irkens or escaping, and he began to wonder if she even wanted to. He had a sneaking suspicion that she was happier here than she'd ever been on Earth, as unfathomable as that was. But for him he never saw anything more than the cramped human quarters, the lab or the corridors that connected them. He was beginning to give up hope of finding anything out about Zim until one fateful day when he caught his first glimpse of the irken.

They were being marched back to their quarters from the lab after another laborious session, and for whatever reason they were taking a slightly different route this time. Dib looked about with mild interest. His enthusiasm had really started to lack but at least this was a change of scenery. As they turned the next corner suddenly the right hand side of the corridor was all windows, and it looked down over a spacious command deck. Dib's heart nearly stopped when his eyes landed on him.

Dib experienced the briefest moment of happiness. He was alive. _Alive!_ After all this worrying. This relief only lasted a matter of seconds though, as his sleep deprived brain caught up with what he was seeing. All of the other irkens in the room were looking to Zim, listening attentively. Zim appeared to be instructing them in whatever they were doing, and incredibly they were obeying. Some of them even looked a little afraid of him.

Dib's stomach twisted into knots of anger, and he could feel the bile rising up his throat and the tears prickling at his eyes. He hadn't realised he'd stopped until the guard gave him a violent push with his staff that threw him to the ground.

"Keep moving human!" He growled impatiently. Before Dib knew what was happening Gaz had pulled him up and along by the arm. His mind was raging so wildly that he didn't even realise they'd made it back to the room until Gaz sat him down on his bed.

"That traitor. That scum." Dib seethed, tears beginning to escape his eyes. "Did you see him? Did you see what he was doing?"

"Looks like they made him a commander or something." Gaz said rather matter-of-factly.

"He's in charge of all this!" Dib spat.

"You don't know that."

"Are you defending him?!" Dib asked in wild disbelief.

"No, but what did you expect? Did you want him to dead? Or being held prisoner and tortured? Is _that_ what you wanted to see?" Gaz chastised him and he turned away sulkily, unable to answer. "Actually, I thought he looked sort of sad. And tired."

"Don't be so stupid." Dib snapped, and Gaz's anger bristled.

"Fine." She pursed her lips, her attempt at kindness at an end. She turned away to collect her rations.

"I'm gonna kill him. I've got to get out of here, soon." Dib muttered venomously to himself.

"Actually, I think I might have got somewhere with that." Gaz stated casually as she came back over, munching on her food. Dib looked up at her hopefully.

* * *

 _A/N: Yeah you guessed it, course Dib's alive. Sorry if that was too obvious haha! This is my first time writing Gaz I think, she's such a great character. I think she is too smart for Earth. She's smart enough to realise that it's all futile and nothing she does can ever fix the world, so the total immersion/escapism of her video games is how she deals with the depression/anxiety that comes from this knowledge. I also love the theories that she is part irken, I think she would do well with them._ _As for the professor I find him an odd one to write. I think he would take an alien invasion quite badly, I think even after being captured by them he'd still be in a state of denial rather than accept that Dib was right. I'm done rambling now! Thanks for reading xx_


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